Laid to rest.

My loving husband, K was laid to rest today beside my mother. To date I think it was the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. He was always there for me and I feel so lost without him. I no longer have him right here to turn to when I need him. I hurt so much and he was always there to comfort me and make me feel better. He was not suppose to leave me like this.

This is the first I have been alone since I lost him... and I am being swallowed up by the void he has left behind. I continue to expect him to come in and hold me close like it was a big joke. He meant so much to me, no one will ever truly understand how close we were. I am tired of being brave and strong for the kids... when my stronghold is gone.

I am so glad there are tons of people around offering my family and I support... but that does fix the pain. I will continue to be strong for my children because they are all I have left of him... But I just want to curl up in a ball and cry, cry until the pain is gone... which won't happen... cause he will not be coming back to hold me and ease the pain.

I love him so much...