Monday, November 29, 2010

Attempting to get back to Life

Today was the day we attempted to try to get back to some semblance of order at our house. The kids got up and went to school, and I went to work. Preschool went fine until C came in and gave me a huge hug... then I recalled the one dance class K ever took... it was with C. He had been getting really good at kickboxing, but it was before UFC, and his instructor had told him he should go take some classes from his wife to learn some grace... cause he could go far if he had some grace to his power. So We put him in a beginning class... he made it to one class, and when they got to jumping and C told the class, "someone is landing hard..." in a class of little girls and one big guy, I wonder who it could have been.

So then I made it back to work and was going great, thought this was a good distraction, then I glimpsed out the window and thought for a second I saw him... it reminded me of his last Saturday he had off work... He came to pick up the kids and got there a little early and just watched me teach for a while. After work he told me he had missed watching me, and how fun it was to see me teaching, how he hadn't watched in a while and was glad he had the chance. It made my day.

Then C came in for his class, wearing K's socks that went up to his crotch. I smiled at first, then just thought of how he loved his socks... there were two pair in particular that he always wanted washed to wear.

Around 6:30 I found my self glancing out the window, watching for him... since that was the time he usually came in to pick the kids and I up. I could always count on him being there ready for us... and he wasn't. It was even a little disappointing walking into preschool and not seeing him... since he was good at slipping in unseen.

In tap we only had a few minutes left, and I was going to teach a new step, when Someone asked for the "hoedown" I gave in, regretting right away that I had. We had learned it a couple years ago for Dance camp... so at many a family function we would all do the hoedown with the kids, K always joked how he would hear the music, and go to watch the kids, and find all of us grown women doing the Hannah Montana Hoedown. Then about a week before, he came from work and told me proudly how he had made a little girls day. Her and her mom had waited for a long time for their car to be done, K always had music playing from his ipod... which the kids made sure had some of their songs on to. He noticed the little girls tee shirt was Hannah Montana, and asked if she knew the Hoedown... she lit up. K promptly turned the ipod to the hoedown and in front of all his tech and the mother, did the hoedown with her.

There are so many memories of K, I just don't want to forget any of them, and I especially don't want his kids to forget either.This has been and continues to be my plea. If anyone has any memories of K PLEASE post them on one of the memorial sites, email or FB message me if you prefer it kept private, comment on here if something reminded you of something.

They say it gets easier over time, and I learned with my mom it does... and even now I can get through longer stretches of time... but the hard times, seem to get harder, the sad times seem sadder. As I tell people every time I am asked how we are doing, We are hanging in there... that is all we can hope for right now. AS for what we need, when I figure that out I will definitely tell you and ask. Rides to the various places I need to get my kids and get my kids home is the biggest right now, so if our children share an activity, please check with us if we need transportation. Thanks.

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