MAD AS HELL

I took all the health classes in school, I know the process of grieving, but I am going through it my own way, and trying to overcome it quickly for the kids. It has been a month since he left us, and I just am mad at him, mad at God, mad at my kids because I feel like they are not helping with basic chores that would have been done if he were here. I am hurting and I can't talk to him to work it out and make it better I am feeling so alone lately and I am just mad about that too. When I had bad days before I could come home and curl up with him and he would hold me, and I would feel better... now there is no one. Sure we had our fights... but he was always there to come back to, or to talk it out with, or give the silent treatment to... but now I can't even work out my being mad with him... I want to scream, I want to hit, I want to yell, I just want the impossible, I want him back... it is not fair!!! How am I expected to get through this alone? I just want him back, I have been alone a month... not sure how much longer I can stand it... I miss him and want him back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!