Not only am I upset about losing him, but add to it all the crap I have to deal with now he is gone, and that brings me to tears almost as easily. There are things that have needed to be cleared up for a few years now that we would simply put off, or work around that are now a necessity.
The part of clearing these things up that is bringing me to tears is the fact I get one thing accomplished and it doesn't cross it off my to do list, it simply adds 3 more things to get it done. I thought I had finally gotten somewhere today when I found someone more than willing to work with me and look into things to get it handled... so I thought it would be worth being a little late for work in exchange something crossed off... but I couldn't have been more wrong. Not only did I give up work for nothing I found they totally used my coming forward earlier to manipulate it to work for them... making me much more cross than before.
I am tired of being jerked around by incompetent people, and getting a false sense of accomplishment getting closer to results, only to find I am further away then I began.
I have to just keep putting it into perspective, it took years for some of these things to build up, and I can't expect them to work themselves out in a couple weeks. (wise words from a close friend) but regardless it is so frustrating... I feel like I am trying to pull my life together and move on, but I keep hitting major road bumps, and they are not all to blame on Him, but they are things I could have put off, or he could have dealt with if he were here.
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