Missing him...

I have been doing pretty good, I have been proud of my accomplishments on my own, had a couple draw backs, kids slacking in school, my house suffering by becoming a disaster zone, behind in homework... but Overall I have been proud of myself for getting through all that I have done on my own. I have had my tough moments, and hard days, but gotten through them...

Then Last week I think I came close to just shutting down. I didn't want to get out of bed, go anywhere, do anything, just sleep. SO I came home from work and slept. Just slept. I have since been able to realize I am just a little overwhelmed and need to try to find somethings I can let go a little. My sister and my sister-in-law came Saturday and got a lot of cleaning done, so that has helped a ton. I can see a way to get through the mess now.

But then today I am just ready to cry at everything. Bren wanted his fishing license, I cried. I was feeling fat, I cried, I was trying to do homework, I cried. I went to the store, I cried. I think about my upcoming dance recital with work and I loss it. He never missed it. He helped me get everything done I needed to. I can't believe I have gotten through 7 months without him. I almost feel guilty for being able to function without him... I just wish he was here to tell me I am doing a good job.