I miss him so much. It used to be such a motivation to see his face when I got the house cleaned (I have always been a horrible house keeper), but now there is no one who will be as excited as he was. Only Me, and what is the point if I feel no one else cares? I used to love to see his face when I made dinner... sure it was usually a pathetic attempt (and not alway good) but he would be proud of me. Now I feel like I have this unattainable bar to live up to if I attempt to cook. He was the best cook, and the kids loved his cooking... they only ate mine because he said they had to.
I feel no desire to eat healthy or exercise, I cared about how I looked because I wanted him to take notice.
I hate feeling like not only did I lose him... I lost me too... and I want her back.
1 comment:
Alli,
I found you through your comment on Friends of Widows. I, too, joined this club nobody wants to be a member of just this past November.
I get it. I miss me, too. I will never be the same me again.
Cathleen
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