Others...

Today was my birthday, and while it was hard without my soul mate, I realized I still have such an endless number of people who love me I should not feel so alone. While it was tough thinking the one I wanted to be there wasn't, it was still so wonderful because I had many who were there. I had a birthday cake for me at my book club, and then I had a party from some close friends at work. Then I was able to spend a day with my kids which was wonderful... and still have a couple people who want to get together.

I don't want anyone to misunderstand, I miss my love more than I could ever express properly in words, however while it has only been 3 months since he was torn from my life, I have realized it is not worth focusing on what I am missing without him. Because if I dwell on that fact, I will miss out on all the people who ARE here for me, and truly love and care about me. And what a tragedy that would be to neglect those who are here for me in this world, for someone who no longer is. I truly believe we will be together again... we better because he is going to get an earful, especially for leaving me to raise 3 teenagers on my own. (it will be 4 for about 3 months at some point)

There is however 1 thing I have found I am regretting more and more lately. I had always taken pride in doing things for others, and being there for others. Now being alone to raise my kids, I find I have little or no time to help others as much as I would like to. Please know while I may not always be good about returning the hundred of favors and love shown to me, I will always be willing... if not always able. At this point in time, the most I can hope to help with is being a listening ear if anyone needs to talk.

So while I was missing Him terribly, it was still a wonderful birthday, with tons of well wishers and a couple of GREAT surprises. My kids got me an ipad, and I even was given an unexpected gift from my hubby. A favourite restaurant of ours takes pictures of guest celebrating special occasions, and posts them on their walls, which are COVERED. He and I went often, so I was certain there would be at least one. SO we looked around, and then asked if they had the older ones somewhere. They brought us a stack on albums, and we all searched, and found a picture of he and I there for his birthday a few years ago. I broke down. Even on the other side of this life he send me something, a wonderful memory I will always treasure. Thank You my love.