The final thing that I have had to deal with the mortuary about, his grave marker. I am glad it is there so people know where he is, and what a great man he was, but while death is obviously final... this seems to make it more so.
I hate seeing it, yet when I am having an especially tough time I crave that quiet cemetery where I can talk to him freely without judgement. Where I can bask in the quiet solitude near his and my mom's presence. I prefer to think he is close to me everyday, but I think where he helped in the decision of where to bury my mom, and we would walk around and enjoy the peacefulness of the cemetery together I know he is at peace there.
I am so tired of all the things piling up that I know he could handle and deal with much better than I could... I think that is perhaps why I am avoiding them until I need to... and that time is fast approaching. So I hope he will be here with me when I need him, helping me get through some of these things I need to get through.
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