Stronger?

I wrote and commented on here before about how tired I was of hearing how strong I am, or how good I am doing, and I thought how nobody knows how they would react if placed in the same situation. You do what you  have to do, when you have kids you have no choice. There are days I prefer to curl up in a ball and cry, but what kind of an example is that to my kids? I think at first I was tired of hearing it because it was a compliment disguised as encouragement, hidden as a reminder of what my life is now.
I think after 15 months I am ready to take that as a true compliment. (and for me that is huge, since I have never taken compliments well... and still don't. Kris would tell me to just say thank you... I still struggle with that) I have grown in the past year, in ways I would never wish on anyone. In my adolescent psych class we were asked at what age/point in your life do you feel you have reached adulthood. many said that although they are married and raising families, they still turned to their parents for advice/guidance, and felt like they needed to "answer" to them in someways. It was in this discussion that after 35 years of life, 4 children, and 2 close deaths later I have truly reached my adulthood/independence. With no one to answer to, my dad is involved in his new wife and stepson, and 4 children who rely wholly on myself for support, guidance, structure (even if they are teenagers and don't admit it) I have reached that point in my life. I am so confident in this realization, even if I were to marry and have another adult to lean on, I would still be at this point in my life... just with support.
I can see my growth, how I have become stronger, but that does not mean I no longer hurt. It does not mean I am not lonely. It does not mean I no longer need help and guidance from friends and family. If anything I need it more than ever with this realization of how truly alone I am now in this world.
So what inspired this post? I have been in school now for two and a half semesters, in the last couple classes I have been complimented for how I have handled what I have gone through. ANd again I am not sure how to handle the praise. I don't feel I deserve it. A simple thank you doesn't seem sufficient.