The topic of dating has come up more and more lately, from family, friends, support groups, even blogs of fellow widows/widowers. I have heard I am young go for it, I have heard it is too soon wait. I think I am ready and decide to go for it, I back out and decide it is too soon. The only thing I have come to a definite conclusion on regarding dating/ the possibility of remarriage is this. I am tired of being alone, I want to get out and have some fun. I miss date nights with my husband, and just talking with him. But I admit the idea of any kind of a relationship scares me. I am one of the fortunate people who had actually discussed it with my husband before he passed, although it was usually in joking, we discussed it. I told him if he remarried I would haunt him and her, but not to worry I would remarry. He told me he would want me to, and knew I would, his choice of funeral song even acknowledged it (please remember me, tim mcgraw at his request... everytime he played it he told me it was his funeral song).
So here is where I am feeling lost... my kids encourage me to go out and have fun, but don't like the idea of me remarrying. I have even had mixed feeling from fellow widows, saying don't rush, or a year is too soon. Yet I feel like widowers seem to have some kind of rush on things. The other thing is how do I "get out there" so to speak. I do NOT want to be one of dating site people... but I don't know how to go about this... Kris and I met in High school...I never had go through the whole dating scene... it scares me a little and I don't know where I would even start.
So for now here are my plans. I will continue working on school, focus on the kids, and make an effort to get out once in a while. If I happen to meet someone great... until then I am a single widow.
Perhaps I am moving fast for a widow... but as I mentioned, it seems widowers move a little faster... Kris and I always laughed because when suggested we read men are from mars and women from venus... we were so opposite. I had more of the male characteristics, while in many ways he the feminine. Perhaps that is why while I ache for him, and miss him constantly, I long for that companionship. Someone to talk with and communicate with late into the night. Perhaps it is because of this tendency to more typically think practically, I am looking for the way to solve it... solve missing my date nights, solve my lonely nights... I know he wants it for me as well... Just wish I didn't have to lose him.
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