Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Journal of sorts...

So I created this blog to use as I see fit... I am making it a sort of online journal. I have my goal blog which sometimes turns into a poor me and I want to keep it more goal oriented, so this is my poor me blog. I have also taken off all the gadgets that may attach this to moi... but if you come across it feel free to read it, I tried making it private and not inviting anyone, but it didn't work. So I just left it public...

This is my first poor me post on here... and I am quite certain it will not be my last. I am finding it more and more difficult to pull myself out of bed in the morning without some obligation to do so. This weekend was great, the kids were off, I was off, I would get up and get so much done. The kids went back today and I got them off and climbed right back into bed... for 4 hours. One of my jobs had to cut down on hours, and my other one won't schedule me earlier.

I have an anti-depressant, but I take it in the morning, and if I forget to take it right when I get up it doesn't kick in early enough. I also find myself thinking dark thoughts... like if something happened who would find me. Then I have these snap out of it moments and I hurry and take my anti-depressant and drink some caffeine and wonder what is going on in my head?

I am not feeling like myself.

I have also noticed I am much more motivated to clean when I have a specific goal in mind, like a big project accomplished or some other feeling of accomplishment... the simple cleaning up just doesn't motivate me.

I am also going to try to write in here frequently. I like to write, and like everything else you need to practice writing to keep doing it well, so I am using this as something of my practice blog...

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